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Names have been changed to protect the friends and family of the victim…

I knew this girl once. She was amazing. Quite frankly, I was always kind of jealous of her. She of course had her own problems- mental instability and suicidal tendencies- but all together, she was one of the best girls I ever had the pleasure of knowing. Unfortunately, this girl lost her life just over two months ago, to an all-to-common murder weapon these days- Heroin.

If you google her name, you find her obituary. In there, you will not hear a single word about how she died, other than it was tragic and unexpected. Her picture shows up when you image search her name via Google images, but only 2-3 times, and its the same picture each time. All that remains of her are a facebook page, her obit online, and the memories we all have of her. It doesnt matter if you knew her a day, the entirety of her life, or are only learning about her post-death, her memory will live on.

The first day I met her, I remember thinking how open she was, how well liked. I was 9 months pregnant. We met at Subway via a mutual friend- Miss C. Sadly, I dont even have Miss C to rely on to supplement my post, as she and I no longer talk.

Anyways, back to my memories. As I said, I was 9 months pregnant. I had never met this girl before, but Miss C claimed her to be her second best friend- I being the first- and I wanted to meet her. Im glad I did, because she was a great person. Even though she was essentially a stranger, she came to my baby shower- something that friends I had had for years didnt even bother with. Although she basically was a stranger, she helped my family move, even though she wasnt obligated to. And she was there in the hospital room for the entirety of my daughter’s birth-even the pushing. And her kindness didnt stop there. She walked State Street with a mutual friend and they came back with the cutest onsie ever for my daughter. I still have it, and always will. My daughter wore that for almost 2 years, probably wore it more than any other outfit she had honestly. And then a couple days later, went to a concert in my place with 2 of my best friends, chipped in to buy me a tshirt, wore it thru the concert then barged into my hospital room at midnight to give it to me.

She was around my daughter for the first year or so. I remember once my daughter projectile-puked across the living room, somewhere around 2 months I think- and we all laughed. She got her little brother to help out with mowing our yard. I helped her move some stuff from her gramma’s once- that was a trip! We drove to Milwaukee, got to her gramma’s, grabbed a few boxes… Well, there was, uh, an adult toy in one of the boxes. We are driving downtown Milwaukee on a busy weekend night, and she pulls this hot pink toy out, and starts waving it all around. OMG my face STILL goes red when I think of that- and Im extremely outspoken lol. This car full of teenaged boys pull up next to us at a stop light, and she starts causing a scene with her toy… And people thought I was insane/immature lol…

She introduced me to the Farmers Market on the capital square. She admitted to some pretty personal things in conversations with me. She once, randomly, stated that she was going to become Jewish, just because. Another time she was discussing Krishna and his views. Everything could be discussed with her, she was never shy. I mean it. We literally talked about everything- from sex to kids to religion to Hitler and his Nazis. Nothing was untouched. She came up with some crazy ideas, and had some pretty amazing thoughts.

This girl. She could always figure things out, she was the smart one, the one I least expected to fall into this trap.

A couple years ago she carnie-d for a local carnival. She decided since nothing was holding her in our lame town, she would go on the road with the carnival. There, she met her eventual downfall- Bob. Bob was an aspiring journalist who I thought had no talent- I had read several of his articles and thought that he was a off-ball writer, jumping all over the place with his writing… But then again, Im not a professional so I shouldnt really judge him soley upon this.

BUT what I can judge him on is his lack of tact when it comes to a blog post he made himself about a week ago. I am still at a loss of words when it comes to this damning post.

Pretty sure this covers how i felt within minutes of reading the damning post...

Pretty sure this covers how i felt within minutes of reading the damning post…

And although I orginally read his blog on 2/14, I am still pretty upset!!

I guess what I am the most upset about is how he put all of everything that happened to them, how they were using and abusing, and not paying attention to the emergency medication… How they moved from Wisconsin to the southwest, and then to the midwest (yes, there is more to the midwest than Wisconsin). How they had friends who got high with them, friends who put the drug before their kids (which I found extremely surprising, since my friend had a serious maternal streak and wanted kids worse than anything)… How they moved again, thinking they would be in a great place to kick the habit, and how the habit overtook them worse than before.

I think what really bothers me is how he describes his overdose, and how she tried so hard to bring him around, not knowing how to use the emergency medication. In fact, he goes into too much detail about both his overdose and her fatal one. She had siblings, parents, relatives. What if they were to stumble onto this, learn the entire ugly truth? I shudder to think how some of them might react. She was always an open girl, had a tendency to share too much too fast (probably why I liked her so much) but Im sure that those left behind didnt need to know all of that. I know that I am haunted by it– I can only imagine how those closer to her have and will react when they see it. And undoubtedly they will. When I searched just 2 of the 3 words in his blog title, it popped up on the first page of google…

Heroin is not a joke. You shouldnt play around with it, and if you are addicted, please please please try to get help and become clean, please.

Im grateful everyday that my friend BR got into legal trouble because of heroin, and was forced to clean up- she is amazing and I talk to her almost everyday, at least through snapchat if nothing else lol.

I think fondly of CC, who lost his life to heroin. I know his sisters grieve everyday for him, and I can only imagine how his parents feel.

God bless, and stay clean, please.

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