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I had a job interview on Friday of last week. I was asked back for a second interview and was feeling pretty damn proud of myself. The whole weekend I was giddy, thinking here’s my chance for a real job, for a real income, for real hours, and free evenings/weekends.

Well that dream was shattered this afternoon.The job offers $300 a week, plus a 25% commission. Sounds pretty sweet. 8 hours a day, mix of field and office work- sweet, no monotony. Constantly changing demographic, new people everyday. Sounds better.


Well, this nice job has horrific hours. Im looking for a 1st or 3rd shift job, something where I am home with my daughter in the evenings. I also want my potential job to be M-F, no weekends- more time for my daughter and boyfriend.

This job wants me Monday-Friday. And Saturdays. M-F the hours are 1130AM-8PM. Saturday, my hours are 9AM-3PM. Thats 46 hours. $300 a week divided by 46 work hours is $6.52 an hour. Sure, there’s commission, but…. 


I took the job. yeah, its the first one offered to me, but if we are moving back to Madison, then I need a job in Madison. Am I thrilled with this job? Hell-to-the-fuck-no. But it will work while I find something else. So I should just be happy that someone has faith that I am employable lol.


Meanwhiles…. I looked at an apartment today, which was a total waste of time. They would PROBABLY work with the eviction OR the dog, but with both against me, Im pretty fucked. Oh the simple days when I didnt have pets……………………. *insert some aggravated garbleygook here*. I kinda liked the place, it was a 2 bedroom on the south side of madison for less than 700. Was small and the kitchen was outdated but the couch would have fit just fine and the bedrooms would have worked. Oh well. Theres only like 8 million posts on craigslist lol. I have 2 showings scheduled tomorrow- a one bedroom apartment in Middleton that allows dogs ($750), and a 3 bedroom trailer on the south side ($800). I already know derek is going to say no to the trailer- its by madison’s sewer waste management facility- but a THREE bedroom/2 bath for ONLY 800, and free standing so if we have the surround sound on we only piss oursleves off?? Um, totally worth the possibility of stench lol. If I CAN manage to get it, im looking for potential roomates for the last bedroom. Note the smell of shit… And bull shit lol.


Im trying hard to be positive when everything else around me is seemingly negative. Derek is in a cabin fever slump too- and hopefully thats all it is. but so he has been super crabby as well and then the two of us being assholes together isnt working so well…. But now he is napping so hopefully he will wake with a better disposition lol

I guess another reason Im feeling shitty overall is cuz i feel like a shitty parent. Liz is staying with Al and Mary so she can attend Waunakee schools while Im stuck up here in portage. I feel like i dont spend enough time with her, and that im missing all the cool milestones, like reading and math and science and then when I do have her, she’s so used to being spoiled there that it basically spoils our time together. I know I am doing the right thing, but why does the right thing feel so damn shitty??

Other than my stress headache, not much more to add so adios…